Events seem to spool out quickly when we are faced with the loss. First, it may feel as if the earth has stopped spinning on her axis. Everything may fall silent to the pronouncement of difficult news.

Then a flood of new experiences rise to the surface. Some details call for immediate attention; who must be notified? What needs to happen today, tonight or tomorrow?

Even as your world may feel as if it’s unraveling and that there are no instructions for this part of the journey, there are people who can provide support and assistance. There are people around you who have already traveled the path of loss you have stepped onto. They have knowledge, experience and resources that you cannot see. They can provide assistance or a simple presence for the next steps.

If your loss is unfolding at this moment, give yourself permission to reach out to trusted others. Stop and ask yourself “who do I know who…”

Who do I know who I can call, day or night, who will listen, offer non-judgmental comfort, support and encouragement in the darkest hours?

Who do I know who has had a similar experience; job loss, family member loss?

Who do I know who can accompany me for moral support through difficult decisions?

Who do I know who could organize things I need support with; child care, grocery shopping, meal preparation, housekeeping, pet care so that I can address the urgent or immediate matters at hand?

As women we are sometimes programmed to be all and do all for others in a time of loss and change. And in our very midst are family and friends who are ready and willing to help when asked. Now is the time to steady yourself with people who can provide just what you need. All you have to do is ask.

Peace be with you,

Deb Buehler

I welcome your comments